Some of these you may have heard over the years, some might be new to you. Some are hilarious, others lame. Whatever it may be, take no offense, look on the bright side and have a good laugh at ourselves, the guitarist. :)
Q: How many bluegrass players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Five - One to turn the bulb and four to complain that it's electric.
Q: Why are guitarist's fingers like lightning?
A: They rarely strike the same spot twice.
Q: What did the guitar say to the guitarist?
A: Pick on someone your own size!
Q: In the 22nd century, how many guitarists will it take to replace a light source ?
A: Five, one to actually do it and four to reminisce about how much better the old tubes were.
Q: What did the guitarist say to his crying guitar?
A: Don't fret!
Q: What do a guitar solo and premature ejaculation have in common?
A: You know it's coming and there's nothing you can do about it.
Q: How can you tell if there is a guitarist at the door?
A: He knocks out of time, and comes in too early.
- Did you hear about the guitarist who was going to a gig and locked his keys in the car? It took him two hours to get the drummer out....
Off the record, so that I don't get hammered by the various guitarists now glaring at me, here are two jokes (non-guitar and imo, the best) from the great Tommy Emmanuel. Here goes:
Q: What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?
A: A flat minor.
Q: What is the difference between a banjo and an onion?
A: Nobody cries when you cut a banjo up.
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